I'm feeling so so tired right now and my brain is feeling so so numbed! The rountine of working more than 12 hours a day 7 days a week is killing me. It is so frustrating and depressing.
I can't wait when I can have a nice glass of wine and just relax with the good companion of mine, when there is no worries, no constraints what so ever! Being trapped in a room working like this everyday is driving me crazy and I can feel that the monster depression is coming back for me!
I am so worried that it might take more than a few days to recover from my wisdom teeth operation on next Friday, as we have this construction mangement project due the Friday after. It is obvious that I will have to drag myself into uni to work on that however crappy I feel that week as I can't not have any input into the project. The whole group will just get pissed off with me and some of them are probably already pretty annoyed with me already! I am sorry that I don't get into uni until 10am, I just feel too tired every morning and cannot get up!
This whole group work shit is really doing my head in and I assure you that I will be able to work with any people with any personalities after these couple of years! I am losing it! I compromise everyday! I get more and more scared everyday to put my ideas across as I have lost faith in myself. I believe that I am shit and useless. I'd rather sit back and let the rest of them decide what they want to do and I would just work alongside with them, because I don't think I am good enough.
For the past couple of weeks, I feel like shit! I feel like I can burst into tears in any minutes, I fee like I will explode in any seconds. I am so depressed and desperate!
One of the most hopeless feelings in the world is when you have to go on doing something that you really hate!
